Opacity

Ramblez.

I’m in one of those moods where I feel slightly self loathing but because everybody does it, I don’t bother saying.

Muse are very good. As are Radiohead, but I like Muse more. French is very boring, especially when you can’t do it. In citizenship we tested some new Yr 10 options forms and they offered such better courses. They said they couldn’t do them last year, it’s such a shame, I’d be far happier with what they were offering back then. I only really like Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance, there’s a bit in Escape by Muse where he sounds exactly like him, and I loved it even more Mcr. So yeah Gerard > Rest of band. Here it comes… Ah see, I love that bit. I would like to have a nicer quality voice, I don’t like mine. 5 minutes until I have to go upstairs, wonderful. I feel like eating cake, but I don’t. Emo sucks and you know it, I had sympathy for some, but then I realised they are all the same. Stupid american spell check said I spelt realised wrong, its right damnit, you aren’t the only people who inhabit earth. I love Google Translate. Ah man, Showbiz by Muse, I feel like breaking something, such an emotional song. Much better than Emo music. Emotional music > Emotional lyrics. Absolutely. Bothered to read? Well actually I’m not surprised, I read everyone else’s crap too, but what are you doing reading this? You could be far more constructive, do something nice for a family member, do something generally nice, take a shower? I don’t know. This is just a diversion from me feeling quite crap. Week In Week Out, s’how I feel. And not a nice Week in let alone a nice Week out. HERE WE GO…..   MATT BELLAMY YOU PUNCHED MY FACE OFF WITH THAT FALSETTO NOTE.

Fuck everything else, music is all that matters… right?

Should be.

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To the same type of tune as Mellow Yellow

My hair has gone boom today
Oh when will the fluffieness go away
When I clicked on photo booth
I realised my mane had gone poof

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Innocent Skin.

No one cares anymore? its all in the past is it. oh yeah, thats why im still scarred from it. isnt it obvious to you that i was tyhe victim. its in the past because you are scared of her. he was the only one who could kind of stand up to it. She hit me sop hard at the most vulerable time. she went all “oh woe mi lyf, kill him”. she tokk the oportunity, refused my apology, eventhough i didnt need to because she pushed me to say it by saying something that was so crushing. She pretended she gave a shit about what i said to you, and told me she knew exactly what she thought. you guys are shit, you should have stood up to her you pathetic twats. she is a complete bitch who set out to ruin my life. Heartless, heartless animal.

No one cares anymore
Its all in the past
Whip out the foundation
Cover the scars just like we did
There was one of your prisoners
Who had the nerve to send letters
You told me of their plans
But I didnt need your help at all

Your innocent skin
Knocks years off my stability
Your heart was never intact
No selflessness or concern, just
Tear, replace and torture

You’re so fucking perfect aren’t you
Place masks on on your peers
And anyone who could help me
Place it behind, put the blindfold on
March to the fear and decleration
Of accepting the physical form of darkness

Your innocent skin
Knocks years off my stability
Your heart was never intact
No selflessness or concern, just
Tear, replace and torture
Tear, replace and torture
Tear, replace and torture
Tear, replace and torture.

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And this is here

Purely because I want to print it.

Horizon

Tug the sheets over horizon
Put the blinds around the situation
Pull the spray paint off the shelf
Spring on the colours of your head
Ninety nine times out of ten
You’ll never hit it on the point
Stop your thoughts running too fast for you to think
 
Don’t be too hypocritical of yourself
Throw me your anvil
This weight isn’t holding me down anymore
Observe at how I swerve
When you burst through the seams 

Crash in and make a scene
And stay serene
All the way in to my jail
And then my thoughts will sail
Through to the blue horizon

My Artist
 

Verse 1
Coming down, strike the land below
Making sure, my angry voice can blow
The present which is traveling
This still life that is stagnating 

Verse 2
Moans and screams, assail this silence
Searching blindly, for this imminence
Prospect future, just deception
Destroyed hope, leaves desolation
 
Chorus
Smiles and tears – joy and fear
Paradox invades my soul
Running away, to find my goal
Place, people, but I can’t hear
 
Verse 3
So I stand, high up on the steps
To absent me, from natures disgrace
The canvas has, arrived to draw the new
All those paintings come to decorate our world

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Here, is where I write my best lyrics.

So, I am going to write them here, like a notepad, and do strikeouts and stuff. Bold = permanent for today.

Take the punch bowl
Embrace your “culture” Grab your meaning purpose
Ruin everything for what’s now

You’re never bothered
Its “near” not “intamacy” ”intimacy”
I have no idea what to say

Drag you down
You drag me down
Turn the handle Self treason
It’s so fun
But not for long
It’s not sung for a reason 
Self treason
It’s so fun
Its not sung for a reason
And not for long

Drag you down
You drag me down
Your self treason
Is not sung for a reason
It’s so fun
But not for long

—-

Verse

Take the punch bowl
Grab your purpose
Ruin everything for what’s now
You’re never bothered
Its “near” not ”intimacy”
I have no idea what to say 

Chorus

Drag you down
You drag me down
Your self treason
Is not sung for a reason
It’s so fun
But not for long

—-

Will edit later.

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Just for the record

I have no idea what the hell my last blog post meant. I was tired, I have been really tired lately.

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I feel like I should be writing something profound

I won’t.

You said you had leukemia. You said you loved me. I said I loved you. We talked about the ocean dividing. Our text, mutually comforted us. You said your leukemia was coming back. You have no idea what I felt. You said you found a donor. You have no idea what I felt. I talked to Wolfy. I knew about Me, Jackson and Wolfy. You have no idea what I felt. We didn’t talk. We argued. I forgot about you. I had a chance with someone I knew in the flesh. I created the term “jelly”. I told them. You came back. We argued more. Now I am torn between what is possible, yet so difficult, and impossible, which could be so easy.

Now, all I feel is immense self pity. All I feel is a deep hypocrite, eventhough no one knows. All I know is, I have a lot more to tackle than I thought.

It is no deeper than that. Now I remember the Iris Era. That era haunted my soul. That era has no pity on my welfare. No one has any idea how I felt. If they did, they would simply not believe me.

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